When Arguments Attack
I hate it when people exploit positions of power to run other people through the ringer. It’s something that happens in divorce cases, where one parent is trying to gain as much custody of their kid as possible, so they hire lawyers to dredge up all the bad behavior they can find on their spouse to use it as ammunition in court hearings. A lot of the mistakes people make in everyday life, including while raising their children, are trivial and forgivable, but get compounded and amplified when examined in a legal context. As a result, parents are forced to review these mistakes and humiliate themselves because they have to fight for the right to continue seeing their children. During these proceedings, if one spouse has a cleaner record or access to more money and therefore better lawyers, they’re in a position of power, where they have the opportunity to drag the other spouse across the coals. It’s an abuse of power.
People can abuse power on many levels. There are grand levels, like child custody battles. There are also more common abuses of power, like when someone claims a small victory in an argument and uses their victory rush to censure their opponent. It’s as if these people are incapable of being gracious. It’s the reason why, if someone’s getting shit from a group of people, I’ll take their side, because nobody deserves to feel that alienated, especially if it’s from their friends. I don’t know if people pull this kind of bullshit because they love to feel righteous, or they’re too lazy to figure out how to admonish someone instead of lambasting them, or they’re just insecure and trying to shift attention away from themselves or boost their ego by bringing someone else down.
I guess I’m not only mad that people abuse power in these ways, but also that they’re so petty about arguing. I don’t enjoy most arguments, because most arguments are founded upon lies. Most arguments happen because one or more people can’t admit the plain truth, so they deny the truth, and the argument isn’t a healthy debate at all; it becomes an endeavor to convince someone that they’re totally wrong. This type of argument is almost pointless, because if someone refuses to admit the truth, it’s probably because of pride in the first place, and the argument is wounding their pride, and someone with a wounded pride is highly unlikely to admit they’re wrong — the theoretical goal of arguing. The only way someone will admit they’re wrong, in this case, is if someone diplomatically helps them come to the conclusion beforehand, or they cool off afterward.
Another dumb part about these arguments is that the people who are mostly on the right side of the argument make silly mistakes while arguing. Listen up: If you’re arguing with someone, and they’re right and you’re wrong, and they slip up and say something in haste and make a logical fallacy, it doesn’t destroy their position. It was just a stupid mistake. I’ve learned, for the most part, to avoid these stupid mistakes, because they give fodder to people who don’t have a leg to stand on otherwise, so they’re searching for morsels of errors in what I’m saying, even though what I’m saying, at large, is perfectly sound.
I’m reminded of Lewis Black — who, like most of this rant, fails to provide enough examples, but kiss my ass, it’s late — and something he once said, and I paraphrase: One day the Democrats and Republicans are going to have to sit down and watch a video of something happening and agree on what the truth is (end paraphrase). Basically he’s saying that people will sit in boldfaced denial because they refuse to agree on the truth. It astounds me that people will deny the truth for so long, for the sake of argument. And before the thought even crosses your mind, Yes, I know the difference between an argument for real and an argument for fun. Also, this turned out to be a rant, but my original intent was just to plead with people to be cool to one another, instead of being petty meatheads who jump on the self-righteous bandwagon every time it passes by. It’s not something that’s rampant — people are usually decent toward each other — but it happens often enough to irk me, apparently.
